Our life just keeps moving along always in this time warp. One of us holds a place in the present while it's overlapped with what the outside world says is our past or history. As I write I try so hard to stay in the moment but I don't know what moment we're in really ( Read more... )

We had a system meeting about the group thing. People here are really iffy, since we don't cry and we don't seem to convey the 'normal' signs of grief. I couldn't give a rat's ass what people think, but it pains folks here that they can't cry. It's always been an issue. To enter a group to talk about M, his death, without the outward signs of grief ( Read more... )

The body has a belly ache, the chest hurts (asthma got activated by diesel fuel) and it's wiped from giving plasma today. We have our menstrual cycle, nothing but a vague spot of blood. Yey that! I do think the gas problem is cycle related, but will track it one more month and see what happens.

( Day Grind )

( Daily Dumps & Crazi )

Days are running together, not sure why I'm the one getting all this past. Yeah sure, "you're the bridge." Last I looked I was a person with a life and friends. Both of which are sadly suffering with me being Paralyzed Girl. I'm angry all up in my head. Seems it's got to hit the body and others so they can step out of their crazies. Could be for ( Read more... )

Will I be....

( Ever More Craziment )

I made it thru yesterday, I know I did. I remember doing Terri's hair, which BTW looks FABULOUS, yes I said that, I admit it I'm a Mary at heart. I sat at dinner in the casino with our friends. Came home, yes I so remember walking into the house clear as day. The time after nothing but a swirling mess of someone else's thoughts, visuals and ( Read more... )

Yesterday was spent getting blown off by doctors. Neither had an alternate for dissociation. Not a one to deal with the flood of feeling and visuals that had, even me, planted on the couch. This is not all pissy at them it's not like I thought they had magic, but hell a suggestion might have been good.

( Digging the Fox Hole )

There's a struggle here that's caused arguments with no answers. "Yet," Ravin keeps yelling, "yet."

( Xmas )

So our session yesterday was canceled, the doc never made it out of court. We got a rebook for Xmas eve which would have been fine except we have to be at a friend's 3 hours before the opening. So right now we're on stand by or booked for Thursday night. What we really need is a double session, so the doc isn't looking at her watch all the time. ( Read more... )